Life Drawing
by obsidians
Summary: Reno is talked into modeling for a life drawing class by his meddling neighbour and Tifa, Aerith and Yuffie get to see more then they bargained for as them same neighbor persuades them to take her class. Written for comedy only and whimsical and silly.


Reno shook his head in bemusement as he saw his elderly neighbour staggering under weighty grocery bags and pulled over in his red sportscars and pushed his sunglasses up. "Did you buy too much again, Mrs. Beasley?" He asked her.

"There were a lot of sales going on" the feisty septuagenarian replied.

"Hop in, your chariot awaits, mi' lady" he said as he sketched cheeky bow to her as he took everything from her and stowed it in his trunk and held the door open for her.

"I don't mind if I do. Who can resist the invitation of so attractive a young man?" she said patting her hair in a saucy way. The whimsical Mrs. Beasley never failed to amuse Reno. She was funny and full of life and reminded him of his own grandmother, who was deceased.

"I swear you lie in wait for me" he teased her as he roared off.

"Why would I do a thing like that? I have grandchildren older than you" she mockingly admonished him. "I assume your usual price for your help remains the same?" She asked him.

"Yes, meatballs and lots of them" he said smiling through his sunglasses as his ponytail streamed behind them as he drove them home to their condo building. He certainly appreciated how Mrs. Beasley never asked him to slow down or reprimanded him for driving too fast, she had an appreciation for fine automobiles.

"I guess the insurance business must pay pretty well if you can afford this fine car" Mrs. Beasley said in a voice the suggested she didn't believe the career he'd lied about.

"I didn't become second in command by remaining idle, I've processed more claims then you would believe" Reno said with a smirk.

"And so young too and good looking" she mused.

"Are you flirting with me?" He asked her.

"Sorry, I like my men old enough to shave but if I were forty years younger..." she said.

Reno just laughed off the insult "If you were forty years younger, I'd have been sunk" he replied in a cheeky way, Mrs. Beasley had clearly been a beautiful woman earlier on in life and she was still beautiful for her age.

"Such flattery. When are you going to let my art class paint you?" She cut in as she normally did. She'd been after him to model since she'd seen him in their condo pool one afternoon.

"I don't know. It's not that I'm shy about my body. Just, if I get naked with women, I usually expect something else from them" Reno explained, leaving her no doubt as to what that was. She'd certainly bourn witness to the bevy of beauties traipsing in and out of his condo. She was certainly glad she was a sound sleeper, who could sleep through anything. Literally anything, as her dearly departed husband used to tease her. However, Reno had had to witness her own bevy of beaus, most of them widowers cominhg to call on her...and call she did with them. She was older but no less spry, passionate or vocal then she'd been when she was she younger. There was a reason she had had eight children.

Reno and she would wink at each conspiratorially if they accidently met after a successful conquest.

"You know, most of the women who attend the classes are like me. They live alone with their grandchildren all grown up and love nothing more than spoiling unmarried bachelors who help them out...and don't treat us like we're nothing more than dried up old fossils. I'm sure I could persuade the others to show their appreciation to you by cooking for you..." she said.

Reno narrowed his eyes at this idea while he pondered it, he normally survived on: take out or prepackaged meals and was a sucker for homecooked food. "Okay I'll do it this once and don't skimp on the meatballs" he threatened her.

"You'll feast like a king for a week" she promised him.

Mrs. Beasley sure got around and Reno didn't know she knew some women of his acquaintance.

Her knitting group met every Thursday for tea at Seventh Heaven and were called The Stitching Bitches.

"Hi Tifa, Aerith and Yuffie" she greeted them when she walked in with her knitting bag.

"Hi Mrs. Beasley, would you like your usual tea?" Tifa asked her.

"Yes, but make it a pitcher" she said as she set herself up and the rest of the club drifted in. "My doctor said I shouldn't drink anymore or it would kill me. I went to that old buzzard's funeral three years ago" she said with a devilish smile.

Soon the tipsy grannies were knitting up a storm and talking to the younger women about their life experiences. "This is how you do a garter stitch" Mrs. Beasley said to Aerith. "You should learn how to knit; there's nothing that tells a man you care about more than a custom knit sweater, well besides giving him the good stuff" she wickedly said and noticed the young woman blushed at this.

"I had someone, but he's missing. I was never...with him, we were waiting for marriage" Aerith explained.

"That's a good and rare quality in a young woman" she said in approval.

"Did you and Mr. Beasley wait?" She asked her.

She cackled at this "we waited until we were alone together in my father's barn. My oldest son's how I became Mrs. Beasley" she said and Aerith blushed at this.

"How about you Yuffie, are you waiting too?" She asked her.

"There's a guy; it's complicated" she said with a frustrated sigh.

"Ah yes, you all have complicated men" Mrs. Beasley agreed. "And Tifa's still waiting for the Cloud to get his wandering keister back to her. You should throw him down and get knocked up. He won't go anywhere after that" she advised her.

"It's not that simple!" Tifa protested.

"I swear you gals should find someone else just to have fun with while you wait" Mrs. Beasley said, thinking about Reno, he didn't seem complicated in the least. She hated how the three beautiful young women were wasting their youths waiting for men and wished there was some way to get the three young spinsters together with Reno, sure one of them would take the hot, live bait. "I have a really attractive neighbour about your ages that works as a claims adjustor" she offered.

However, all three women got a mental image of some four eyed, pencil pushing nerd in their heads.

"No thanks" Tifa said.

"I don't like set ups" Yuffie said.

"I'm taken" Aerith added.

Mrs. Beasley narrowed her eyes at them and tried again. "Do any of you paint? I run an art class out of the local community center. It could be something fun to do while you wait for your men to uncomplicate themselves. It doesn't cost anything, we just ask that you provide some food for breaks. It's a life drawing class" she explained.

"That could be fun. I always wanted to try my hand at art" Tifa said.

"Life drawing? That's where you paint fruit?" Aerith asked her.

"Something like that dear" Mrs. Beasley lied to the niave young virgin.

"I would love to come" Yuffie said.

"Great, we meet on Wednesdays. You don't have to bring anything but some food.

Mrs. Beasley was happy when the girls attended.

"I brought a vegetarian casserole" Aerith said.

"I brought a meat pie" Tifa offered as she added her dish to the groaning table of food and wondered how much the elderly ladies could eat. Did your appetite increase with age?

"I brought the bowl of fruit to paint, I can't cook" Yuffie said with a blush.

"That's lovely dear, thank you all so much. Just choose any canvas and get yourself set up" she encouraged them and they chatted as they did.

Mrs. Beasley let Reno in and gave him instructions to get ready in the cloak room and indicated to the huge table of food and told him he could take all leftovers home.

Tifa was surprised when Reno came in. "What's he doing here?" Aerith wondered out loud as if vocalizing her own thoughts.

"Perhaps he's in the class?" Yuffie said in a dubious voice.

"He hardly seems like the artistic type to me" Tifa said as she picked up her brush. They wondered ever further when he came out wearing only a bathrobe.

"Everyone, this is Reno" Mrs. Beasley introduced them. "If you'll just sit in the chair and get comfortable, we'll get started" she requested of him.

"No problem" he said, letting his bathrobe hit the floor and proudly lounged in the high-backed chair with his legs causally spread apart and looked as regal as a king on a throne.

Tifa dropped her brush in shock...and the two virgins got nosebleeds.

"Reno's naked...the first penis I'll ever see is..." Yuffie stammered.

"I can't look" Aerith said and covered her eyes but kept peeking through them.

"But the fruit..." Tifa stammered.

"Are you hungry dear? Please help yourself to the buffet" Mrs. Beasley said to her.

"Hey Aerith, Tifa, Yuffie" Reno said with a causal wave to them. "I didn't see you back there" he added as if they had met at the supermarket or something by accident.

"Oh, you already know Reno, he's my neighbour" Mrs. Beasley said unnecessarily.

They could only stare at the unclothed Turk, especially a certain part of him, there was entirely too much of him on display for them not to as blushes bloomed in their hot, glowing cheeks. Him naked was like a train wreck; they couldn't seem to look away. A gorgeous train wreck with a well honed body and a killer smile.

Reno smiled politely back at them as he lounged and allowed all to admire him. He was used to being admired and completely comfortable in his skin, that was certainly obvious. He smirked in amusement at the young women's reaction to his nudity while the older ones went about their painting class.


End file.
